Do You Really Understanding Beliefs?

Cue eye roll…

It’s amazing how many people have created such a negative, Chinese-fortune-cookie-fluff association, whenever it comes to addressing beliefs from a personal development perspective . And yet, without exception, every single one of my clients has THE most significant breakthrough whenever we get into what they really believe, and how those beliefs are contributing to their life-turbulence.

So, how much do you ‘really’  understand about your beliefs? Especially the bad and negative ones.

Negative beliefs suck

Put plain and simple, negative beliefs sit at the core of all that’s not brining us well being in our lives. What makes them worse, is that they are often formed by stealth, at a very young age and in a way that sparks a self-perpetuating cycle of cause and effect, that buries them so deep into our identity that they can be very, very hard to change.

And yet they aren’t real. They are, in many ways, the cruellest trick that nature plays on us.

Here’s why

Our brains are set up to signal, and make decisions, to avoid pain and seek pleasure and safety. When we’re young, filterless and at our most vulnerable, the events of life that play out around us, and the things we see, feel and hear, can trick us into making false associations between the two. These are what can quickly and tragically become the foundations of limiting, negative  beliefs.  Regardless of how absurd, misinterpreted and unintentional.

Here’s an Example:

Some people didn’t show up for a birthday party when you were 7 (they just got the day wrong, nothing personal).

At the time, it hurt. Terribly. End of the world type pain.

Maybe I am not likeable?” whirrs the mind. “That’s painful, we don’t want that. So we’ll start looking out for evidence to support it, and make decisions that avoid it entirely“.

And so on…

If we consider that foundational point of making an association as the trunk of a tree, what happens next is where the real problems start.

To keep you from the pain  – and so on the side of pleasure – the brain quickly wires itself up to look for ways to avoid it.  Its intention is kind and honourable, but sadly every time it does notice something, it layers the fledgeling belief with ‘supporting reference’ and starts growing roots. The more references we seek, the deeper the roots and the sharper the minds ability to notice and protect. So the cycle continues…

Beliefs = Values = Filters = Behaviour

It’s an irrefutable fact that identifying limiting beliefs, and learning how to change them is the single most self-empowering process we can go through. It’s particularly poignant to me at the moment,  not only as someone who is invested in helping people positively change but at the age of 6, my daughter is entering into her peak belief forming years (yup, it’s that young).

I’d be doing her a terrible injustice if I didn’t do my best to help her onboard some of the more empowering beliefs I wish I had taken on as a child. And that doesn’t mean overly controlling her worldview, it simply means providing a gentle layer of influence when I can on subjects such as self-worth,  money and wealth, confidence, ambition etc. whilst taking the time to interrupt and scramble any limiting tree trunks that might be forming in her delicate little head, whenever something seems to trouble her.

You might think being teased for bad breath at the age of 6, is harmless playground banter. But to a 6-year-old it can trigger something much deeper, long-term and harmful.

Taking on the fight

I take massive beef with limiting beliefs. I was guilty of eye-rolling at them myself for years until I was forced into examining my own hardwiring. Only to be horrified at what I discovered. But as a wise man once said: “Clarity precedes everything we want  to change.

So this series posts  are designed to spark a Belief Revolution, sharing best practices and my own thoughts, experiences and experiments on how to:

  1. Identify limiting beliefs
  2. Unroot them and replace with empowering ones
  3. Rewire and establish new beliefs as your defaults

It’s not an easy process. But stay committed, and it could transform your life. And no, you’re not too old.

I’d also love to hear in the comments box below, anyone else’s thoughts and information they have on the subject of changing beliefs. It’s a topic I am devoting the lion’s share of my time to this year, so all contribution will be very gratefully received.

Finally, if you are struggling with limiting beliefs and would like some one-on-one support then please send me an email to christianhburne@gmail.com. I’d be delighted to help.

The Power of The Personal Audit (have you done this?)

Dear Self,
It’s the end of Jan, 2018.
What are you playing at?
Not much? Too much?
Not enough?
Have you taken your personal audit yet?
Then #SFA! Step back, reflect on what you know and run the audit.
Why? Clarity, alignment, focus, energy, commitment.
So here’s goes. Not everyone’s will be the same. Be brave enough to be you:
2019 Personal MO Check-in:
1. Working smart is much more of a force multiplier than just working hard and being busy. You’re not kidding anyone. Are you woking smart?
2. Are you finding 30 minutes to be still, silent and breath everyday?
3. Are you exercising for 20 minutes first thing in the morning? If not, put the phone down and get on it.
4. Once you decide to do something, anything, go all in. Don’t be the kitten with a ball of wool.
5. Procrastination is an escape mechanism for people scared to do their best work. Man-up!
6. Give people x25 of the time and value they expect. You know what happens next…
7. Don’t do it if you’re not having fun. Period. There’s too much resentment in the world as it is.
8. If you’re not scared daily, you’re not growing. Again, man-up and jump in.
9. Be the most generous, optimistic and kind person in every room you’re in.
10. Your phone is costing you your fortune. Put. It. Down.
11. When you think no-one else believes in your vision, that’s when you absolutely must stay true to that vision. Have the guts to stay in the game far longer than it makes any sense. One day…
Good job. And so to Feb.

#15 | An Arc Worth Learning About. The Seed Vault

The Seed Vault holds the key to human survival: more than 880,000 seed samples, the largest collection in the world. These seeds are critical because, unless safeguarded, agriculture biodiversity is at risk of decline in the face of changing environmental and population pressures.

Watch, and please share. This is truly incredible.

#14 | Investing in Unicorns Over Breakfast

(True story)

“Daddy, what are you and Mummy talking about?”

“Something called investment, darling”

“What’s inveswent?”

“Good question, sweetie.”

Daddy hands Ava her Unicorn pencil…

 

Unicorn pencil
Unicorn Pencil

 

“If I wanted to buy your Unicorn pencil from you today, how much money would you ask Daddy for?”

(thinking, but also troubled about losing her Unicorn pencil)

“Twenty gold coins?”

“Ok, twenty pounds. Seems a bit punchy but you’ve got a deal. Now, imagine Disney – the people that made Frozen – make a film about Unicorns, and everyone in the world falls madly in love with Unicorns.”

(Huuuuuge smiles and the distant sound of a worm can opening)

“Now, pretend you’ve seen the film at the cinema, and now you want to buy the pencil back from me. How much do you think you’ll have to pay?”

(Looking concerned)

“About thirty twenty million coins?”

“Not bad, not bad (laughing). So you see, Daddy ‘invested’ in your Unicorn pencil and made lots of pocket money, because Disney made a film about Unicorns and now everyone wants one. And the more people want Unicorns, the more money you can ask them to pay for yours.”

(Reaching back for the pencil whilst nodding enthusiastically)

“But Daddy…”

(here it comes)

“…Disney hasn’t made a film about Unicorns, has they?”

“Ah, well, no darling they haven’t. But let’s not get into that now, it’s time for school!”

#13 | Iceland calling

 

 

A Toast to Iceland (Íslands minni)
Our land of lakes forever fair
below blue mountain summits,
of swans, of salmon leaping where
the silver water plummets,
of glaciers swelling broad and bare
above earth’s fiery sinews —
the Lord pour out his largess there
as long as earth continues!